Fiction
It's time for me to throw off any concerns I have of this page becoming too personal, as well as to remove any self-imposed restrictions on being too controversial. What I have to say is so upsetting, so un-nerving, that the comments are likely to be boiling over by days end, and the work I'll have to do to mend broken friendships and hurt feelings will be some of the hardest work I've ever done in my life. But there are things that have to be said.
Only kidding. It's just Tom and Katie.
So we have to assume up front that Tom is actually sincere in all of his romantic feelings and isn't--ahem--covering anything up and that all of our instincts that the whole thing is really fishy are wrong. We have to (brace yourselves) accept that, at the very least, he actually likes her.
What's ended up making this subject something that's actually worth turning over and looking under for me is that there are more than a few people who seem honestly disgusted not with the weird almost-defensive over-affection, but the simple age difference. More than a few people seem genuinely concerned that Katie's "being taken advantage of", that this sleazeball older man has swooped in and snatched off a naive, impressionable little girl. To these people, I'd just like to make the following point:
IT'S TOM FUCKING CRUISE!!!
We're not talking about some 45-year-old with a gut who still cruises Rumors on Friday night, and can't accept the fact that he can't pick up 25-year-olds anymore. This is a guy who is not only still fantastically good-looking, still in amazing physical shape, but is also one of the biggest movie stars in the world, and has been for about 20 years. Yeah, Katie could do SO much better.
I think that we all like to think that, if we were 45 and single, that we would be dating only people our own age, that even if we had the chance to date some younger beauty that we'd be mature enough to see that the age difference would be too difficult to get over and we'd let them down easy, knowing that we'd be doing what's best for them. That's what we'd all like to think about ourselves, that looks don't matter in our choices of partners, that the only thing that matters is personality. I think we're good about fooling ourselves.
Point being that, even assuming all feelings are genuine and Tom Cruise isn't covering anything up, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I mean, besides two celebrities getting together, which always bugs me for no good reason. And I do suspect that Tom Cruise is covering something up.
Now I have to go tell myself that I did not just write multiple paragraphs on the Cruise/Holmes engagement until I believe it.
7 comments:
You're goddamn right Katie could do SO much better! You said it jokingly, but it's actually true.
She could be with ME. Our you, or any one of our friends. We may not be hot-shot movie stars, and none of us are fabulously wealthy, but she has her own wealth, and wouldn't be concerned with that.
That prick Mitch Albom was suggesting on his (Friday) show that they get married on Saturday and divorced on Sunday. Just to get it over with.
Who knows, though. This may be one of the great romances.
I'm going to just state, on the record, officially, that going out with me is not "doing better" than Tom Cruise, for a large number of logical reasons which would be slightly depressing to list out.
I think we can safely say that this is not one of the great romances. It's true that we have absolutely no idea what's going through their heads, but even the most in-love Hollywood couple is very very likely doomed, so the odds aren't good even if you disregard personalities and circumstances. And if you take those into account, there's no way they'll last, because Tom Cruise is gay as a Swedish Fish.
I'd say that a girl going out with me is doing far better than a girl going out with Tom Cruise....if that girl going out with Tom Cruise also had a tire iron jammed deep in her earhole.
I'mmmm...gonna have to disagree there, Tad. Tom Cruise is a millionaire, and therefore, would have more than enough money to pay for the tire-iron removal surgery.
Gay swedish fish? That shit ain't right. Take it back!
I can too pick up 25-year-olds! And who told you I hang out at Rumors?
Why should I take it back? The Swedish Fish are open and comfortable with their homocandysexuality. Now, whether or not there should be a clear window on the bag, exposing the entire world to their sweet, sticky candy luv is another question.
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