The high-fidelity first class traveling set
I had a talk with a coworker yesterday that I wouldn't really call "nice", because it was somewhat disheartening, but still useful. I've been having economic anxieties that are born of my real estate anxieties. I'm worried about money: how much I have, how much I need, whether I should be trying to get more.
The most groundshaking aspect is that it seems that these are the days I kept being told would come. If you grow up a upper middle class male, you're told that the day will surely come when you no longer care about your happiness, when your desire for entertainment or good friends or a simple life will completely vanish and will be replaced by money lust. "Providing" becomes having a big house and multiple cars, "getting by" is a term reserved to how your stocks and savings are doing, and "job satisfaction" is measured by your paycheck.
I've always had pretty simple tastes, and really all I want is a job that doesn't take up too much of my time and lets me live the social life that I want (which is, again, pretty simple). I'm frugal, and that's part of the problem. I've convinced myself that I'll wither up and die if I don't have savings. This has kept me from going into debt, which is good, but it's also kept from being afraid to buy things that I need, from a new amp in '96 to an apartment in DC back when I could have afforded one.
But really, what this conversation boiled down to is that there's a decision to be made: do I stick with the simple life, putting up with the difficulties it presents (such as, say, having to move every year), or do I give up things like an easy job in a good location for a higher paycheck?
I'm not complaining. I've had an incredibly blessed life, and financially, I'm fine. But it's that voice in the back of my head of my father, grandfather, uncles and even the fathers of some of my friends that I can't get rid of: "Make more money. It's what's important. You don't need any of that other stuff. It's money you need."
And you know that when I write a soul-searching "these are my feelings" post that I was completely at a loss of what to write. Superficial inanity from here on out.
7 comments:
Maybe I'm off base here, but the way I see it is you should do what makes you the happiest - which sounds overly simple, I know, but if you like your job, and where you live, and those are really important things to you or are what make you the happiest as far as how you live, then stick with it - and if you need to change something about how you live within that framework, then that can be done - I don't think there is a need to make huge dramatic changes just so you can have savings. Plus, if you have little to no debt then you are way ahead of many people who probably make a lot more than you do. Virtually, many people, while they may make more money, actually don't because a significant chunk of their mula is going to pay down debt. So, from that standpoint, I would consider you very fortunate and responsible - if you're looking to be responsible and all.
And if you want to look at it from the difficulties standpoint, no matter what you do, there will be difficulties - it's just a matter of whether you want different difficulties, or the ones you are used to. Seriously, it is. Anyway, I think the most important thing is to do what makes you happy - if that means getting a new job and a house in Reston and having to drive and mow the lawn, then do it - but if it means doing what you're doing, then why change? - it's your life after-all. That's my 2-cents at least.
Stupid money.
Thanks, guys. The thing is, it's that voice that never goes away. You're right; go with what makes you happy. But then there's that second-guessing that seems to happen quicker every day that says, "Yeah, but how are you going to be happy and stable without more money?"
Again, it's the real estate thing that's been killing me. I'm moving out because I have to once again, and I can't stop that voice from saying, "See? If you had more money, you could buy a place and just stay there." And then I wonder about having a family and the voice says, "Are you sure you can afford to have a family? You'll need a lot more money to keep them happy."
So basically, I'm hearing voices. But I think you guys know what I'm talking about.
well, if you're hearing voices, that might be a whole other problem you need to deal with!
Real-estate is a good investment, yes, but in a place like DC, to buy now, you would probably have to make a ridiculous amount of money, or get into a really risky loan program (interest only, no money down type thing) - and if anything happens unexpected - with those risky loan programs - lose job, market bursts, interest rates rise a lot, you need to sell, etc - you can get really screwed - so renting ain't all that bad...in fact, I've heard more and more that renting is actually a good way to go right now in places like DC where the market is going crazy - because the price of renting is far less than buying something right now (and so you could invest that money elsewhere that you aren't putting towards a mortgage). That's what I've heard at least.
Anyway, if/when you have a family, you'll make it work on the terms you have and what you have - most people do...and in much less favorable conditions than yours.
But you should really see about those voices first.
oh, and you really shouldn't dwell on what ifs (though we all do) - but especially about investing/money things - it'll drive you batty.
Man, I really should have started that online DVD mail-rental company a few years ago...or that designer jean company.
Yeah, I'm just now getting over the "what if I had bought a place five years ago?" I still wish I had, but I slowed down and remembered what I was thinking five years ago, which is (long story short) that I didn't want to.
I'm sure that my life will remain relatively simple, but the point of this all is that I find myself worrying about money, and I hate that I've finally gotten to that point.
Also, I've heard the same thing about renting as well, but the problem is that feeling of losing control that I, my sister, and tons of other people I know have been through. Feeling that you HAVE to move just because your landlord doesn't want you living in their place anymore is a rotten feeling. It's what's made me burn with envy over the people who own their houses.
as a potent antidote to house ownership envy, ask doug about "the case of the smellier and smellier basement"
Mo' money, mo' problems.
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