A very vernand post

If I had one of them fancy blogs that could slap a category on every post I, uh, posted, then the following post would have the category of, "Instant Messenger Conversations That Left Me Breathless With Laughter, But Probably No One Else Will Think Is Funny." It's just the way it is with IM conversations: it's usually only the people involved who are laughing. But on the off chance that it brightens your weekend, here's something should at least make following the upcoming NFL season a little more entertaining. You may have to be patient, but it's worth it for the punchline.

Xtian: best real name in the nfl?
Xtian: Vernand Morency
Xtian: he's got a certain vernand morency, if you catch my drift
Reid: Yeah, I love it
Reid: No Smith or Jones or...Davis
Xtian: it sounds like it means something
Xtian: It's got nothing to do with your
vernand morency, you know
And it's not about you joggers
Who go round and round and round
Reid: Hopefully it ends up meaning a lot of yards
Reid: HA!
Xtian: so will dominick davis be your top choice?
Xtian: at six?
Xtian: or is it seven?
Reid: Probably not this year
Reid: I'm hoping he'll be amazing
Reid: But he's got to be concerned about his Vernand
Xtian: its definitely a situation of the most vernand morency
Reid: Totally.
Reid: I'll never be able to see his name again without laughing
Xtian: such a great name
Xtian: it sounds like something some 18th century lawyer would utter
Xtian: your honor i declare a writ of habeas corpius! this is the most flagrant case of vernand morency to which i have ever borne witness!
Reid: It really is a great name

Then later...

Reid: "The Bagman's Gambit" has become one of my favorite songs off of the Decemberists record
Xtian: which one is that?
Reid: The one that mentions the Capitol and the National Mall
Xtian: i cant hear it in my head
Reid: "On the lam from the law/On the steps of the Capitol"
Reid: Then the chorus is big and orchestral with him repeating, "No they cannot catch me now"
Xtian: oh right
Xtian: that one should have been called
Xtian: no they cannot catch me now
Xtian: i dont know what a bagman or a gambit is
Reid: I think a gambit is some kind of chewy snack
Reid: A bagman is probably--*probably*--a man with a bag.
Xtian: so is the chewy snack in his bag?
Xtian: and why he is worried about getting caught?
Reid: He wants the snack all for himself!
Xtian: well sure
Xtian: what a vernand display of morency!