Tipping the scales

In one of those observations that either wins me the Master Of The Obvious award or pins me with Medal Of City Snobbery, I whispered to my little sister the other day as we spent a day at the mall in Winston-Salem, "People here are so fat." Everywhere I turned, there were huge people, and not in "kind of chubby" way and not in a "ho ho, Bob, you've really put on a few pounds" way, but in a spilling-into-the-next-seat way.

I felt a little bad in saying this, not just because it's a little judgmental, but because I'd been spending much of the week eating huge meals and I figured that what I was seeing was less a largening of America and more a vision of my near future. I still wondered how the hell people could get so massive, though. Gaining weight is easy. But gaining THAT much weight?! Is that really the result of not holding back at meals?

My question was answered the next day when there was a piece on the Today show about a guy who had lost 250 pounds, and they showed how much he had eaten in his heavier days. I figured they'd wheel out a cart that resembled my breakfast that morning, but what they showed was even more shocking than a picture of the guy at his heaviest, shirtless. They showed a pile of glazed doughnuts, and the guy said he would start&mdashSTART—with a dozen doughnuts. There were not just candy bars, but what looked to me like the entire counter display at a drugstore, and an entire bowl of candy corn.

In a strange way, it was comforting. I may take multiple helpings of lasagne every now and then, and my love handles may cause me grief at airline security ("Sorry, sir, you're only allowed one carry-on"), but at least I would actually have to work at it before I'm taking up two metro seats.