No one likes a shill
Tipped off by one of the music blogs I read, I decided to give a shot to this eMusic deal where they have a 14-day trial period that gives you 50 free downloads. This shrewd marketing ploy worked, because I bit like a horny salmon, picking up (so far) the Okkervil River album, both Pas/Cal EPs and the Charlie Brown Christmas album (that's right!).
And I'll probably stick around through the trial period, because it means that I finally found a place that offers straight-up mp3s for sale: no protection, no password, no nuthin'. It's a subscription service, but I think I've decided that's not terrible. Will it be too good to be true? I don't know, but I'm happy to be your guinea pig, as long as you scratch me under the chin and say, "Who's my widdle guinea pig? Es oo are!" I'll keep you updated.
So I just thought I'd mention it because I, er, well...it changed my life! I was tired of waking up in the morning to no money, having to make orange juice with a chainsaw, bathing in a dirty and diseased river and not being able to open jars. But now, thanks to eMusic, I'm a multi-millionaire in a fabulous mansion and eat pistachios without having to break my nails on the shells! Thanks, eMusic!
6 comments:
Since I'm already being a shameless shill (uncompensated, I might add), there's a "recommend a friend" thing on the site, so if you want to sign up for this biz, let me know and I'll send you a recommendation email. Because, you know, I get more free music if you do that. And don't you want me to get free music? After I've done so much for you?
Some of you have already been hit up by me. Others should be.
I can't help but feel a little put off by the horny salmon bit. But, free music is free music.
Ever been fishing in a stream that has salmon swimming upstream to spawn? You could bait your hook with a cheeto and catch four before the hook even hit the water.
In short, I stand by my simile.
dang. Actually, salmon tend not to feed during the spawning season - if you were gonna die after mating, would you want to eat? So while a river may be choked with the horny critters, they are actually hard to catch with bait - lures and flies might work - as long as they are shiny. Your best bet is to be a bear and snag them - but that's kinda illegal in most places for humans to do. Fishing for salmon before spawning begins can be productive though, since they need to get some energy up before the run. Just sayin' is all.
Well well, Mr. Field and Stream, all I know is that I was plunked in a boat in Alaska during "the salmon run" and we were pulling those thing out like we were at a...
...actually, I'll consider myself corrected, and make my analogy a little less gross and say that I bit like a trout at a trout farm. It doesn't sound as good, but I trust that this makes everyone happy?
actually, dang, I stand corrected too because some non-spawning salmon will come up to eat the eggs of the spawning salmon - and not all salmon die after spawning. At any rate, that music thing looks kinda cool - I'll check it out when I'm not looking up the mating and eating habits of aquatic life.
Post a Comment