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Friday, January 20, 2006

*wheeze*

I am really out of writing shape after taking most of this week off. I was all set for a marathon post on the subject of virginity, inspired both by the fiction of 40 Year-Old Virgin and actual events, but I realized that not was I fit enough to keep it from being anything other than rambling, but it would veer dangerously into the TMI lane, a lane I've been increasingly attracted to since starting to read blogs that regularly address the topics of waxing, birth control and sex.

So in the grand and comforting tradition that most men cling to when faced with a situation of nothing to talk about and not wanting to raise big and controversial issues, I'll discuss sports. To drag it down even further, I'll combine this subject with the old Bears Will Attack approach to a lack of blog subject: the list.

areseven.com is proud to present:
REASONS THAT NFL CHAMPIONSHIP SUNDAY IS BETTER THAN THE SUPER BOWL

  1. Just when one huge game is over, another one starts.
  2. Its happens in the afternoon, the way God intended. The start times are sadly sliding later every year, but at least the early game is still when it's daylight out.
  3. No one is going "SHHHHHH!!" when the commercials start.
  4. Much less chance of the halftime musical act being an oddly-chosen, aged British or Irish act.
  5. AFC vs. AFC, NFC vs. NFC. In other words, more bad blood from the past, and more chance of nasty, bitter matchups in the future.
No matter what the outcomes this weekend, I'll be rooting for the NFC in the Super Bowl. While I think of the Panthers as my second-favorite team, the Seahawks were the "local" team for Anchorage and I've always had a soft spot for them and their futility. Plus, I still don't think that the Panthers and their fans (which I think of myself as one of) have really paid their heartbreak dues quite yet. Meanwhile, on the AFC side, you've got the ugliest uniforms in the NFL vs the biggest bunch of crybabies this side of USC. I'll let you figure out which team is which. It's not hard.

But that's the petty stuff. My official predictions:

NFC Championship: Panthers 31, Seahawks 28
Ultimately, the heart of Jake Delhomme and the talent of Steve Smith trump the gaudy record and offensive stats of the Seahawks. The crowd in the best stadium in the NFL walk out broken-hearted. Again.

AFC Championship: Broncos 35, Steelers 10
Not even close. The Steelers are revealed to be the overachievers they are, and the Colts and their fans feel even worse.

Your predictions?

6 comments:

Washington Cube said...

Do you think any of the Bears are virgins?

Anonymous said...

Seahawks 42, Panthers 35. It should be a fun shootout to watch, at least. I'm with you on cheering for the NFC team in the Super Bowl. While the Panthers are one of my favorite teams, I wound up following the Seahawks pretty closely this year and have a new found respect for them.

I'll go with your AFC prediction, although I'm worried the opposite will happen. The Steelers keep managing to play better than the sum of their parts, and it should be time for reality to set in. Cowher, however, somehow keeps coming up with game plans that drive other coaches crazy. Plus, the NFL loves sticking it to Baltimore, and since they can't rub our faces in a [ex-Baltimore] Colts Super Bowl victory, the next worst thing for Ravens fans would be for [arch-rival] Pittsburgh to win.

How cool would it be if the next expansion team went to Anchorage? They'd probably wuss out and play in a dome though...

Reid said...

Cube, how would I know if any of the Bears are virgins? What are you implying? Are you trying to say that I've "sized up some Bears, Goldilocks-style"? Because I haven't. Just so we're clear.

Scott, if Anchorage got a team, there's no way they could put them in a dome. The entire state is half a million people. They'd be playing on a field with some bleachers on the side. Which would be so awesome.

doug said...

If Green Bay could do it - Anchorage could certainly pull it off - with probably better weather.

agreed about Championship Day - more opportunity to eat and drink more crap.

Picks:

Panthers 28, Seahawks 21 - This is a great game - I like both teams, and I think it's gonna be a good one. I'd like to see the Seahawks win actually, but I don't think they are gonna do it...they always lose.

Broncos vs Steelers? Who cares. Naw, I guess I'd like to see the Steelers win - because Broncos fans are really annoying (more than Steelers fans I would venture). No prediction.

Pulling for the NFC team.

Megarita said...

Bears don't wax.

Washington Cube said...

Meg: Can you imagine the problems if Bears did wax? Talk about trying to find a landing strip. Huge ouchie.