I believe in the promised land

In an effort to grease the wheels of social justice, I've prepared a form letter for all of you who feel the same way about having to work on nice days that I do. Print out the letter, fill in the blanks, and leave it on your boss's desk tonight.

Dear __________¹

What the fuck?! Have you seen what it's like outside? Of course you have, because you have that huge window office that looks out on the __________², so you've seen that the weather is sunny. You may have also noticed that people aren't wearing their coats. In case you can't parse that, that means it's warm out. Out, which is the opposite of in, which is where I have to be, thanks to you and your demands. In short, this is wrong.

I should not have to be sitting in my __________³ when the weather is this nice. Therefore, I demand that, on top of my vacation time and sick time, I should also get a minimum of ten (10) days a year of paid Nice Day Leave. These days will roll over, and can be taken with no notice. They also may be taken consecutively. To show that I am a fair person, these days cannot be taken when it's raining out, though they can be taken when it snows, because snow is fun.

It's the right thing to do. And really, besides employing me and giving me a steady paycheck and a bundle of benefits, what have you ever done for me? So see it in your heart to pass this policy. Or I'll pass you away, capiche?

Sincerely,

__________⁴

¹ The name of your personal bastard slavedriver
² Park/street/monument/next door office building/river
³ Short description of your work area, ex: "dark cubicle", "dank dungeon", "suffocating torture chamber", etc.
⁴ Non-traceable pseudonym