Sponsored by the grunts "meh" and "enh"

Man, I wasted that four-day weekend like taking two bites of a filet mignon and then throwing it in the trash.

Watched some bad movies. Played a video game that I've already played a million times before. Brilliantly chose Saturday afternoon as the time to end a relationship, thus giving me nothing to do for the rest of my weekend. Ate terribly. Germany lost. The fireworks got lost behind the smoke. Managed to pick the restaurants and bars that had Fourth Of July specials on terrible, rude service.

In short, I worked hard on perfecting my amazing technique of moving and seemingly doing stuff, yet accomplishing absolutely nothing.

I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I'm glad to be back at work.