Happiness is literally my umbrella
Tropical Storm Asshole (so named because it ruined my friend Ivan's boating vacation) is sweeping over the WDCMA today and, as tends to happen with tropical storms, it's raining. A lot. And my puny, semi-broken umbrella had been left at the office, and there I was at home. I was at home because that's where I live.
I had resigned myself to venturing out with my long-past-its-waterproofed-usefulness rain jacket which keeps off the rain more in theory than in practice, and figure I'd get to work soaked, when I could then revel in my new position as a weather martyr, in which God grants me all rights to be in a mood as foul as the weather.
Then I remembered what was in my closet: an umbrella that I had gotten for free at a show in Winston-Salem years ago. It's a huge one, with a sturdy wood handle and coverage for a family of five. I had never used it before, and I almost chose to be soaked than carry this umbrella. Why? Because every square inch of this land-mass-sized umbrella is covered in full-color comics from the Winston-Salem Journal. Peanuts, Garfield, Family Circus (!), Hagar the Horrible (!!), Cathy. Only the presence of a business-themed Dilbert assured me that this umbrella was made after 1990, though it maybe says more than enough about the quality of the comics page of the Winston-Salem Journal. 
So if you saw a slightly-embarrassed but very dry man walking across Dupont Circle this morning being sheltered by the comics page, that man was, obviously, me. And know that I don't carry that umbrella out of habit; only out of desperation.
7 comments:
I need a picture or at least a quick sketch. My brain refuses the visual. It’s not real, it can’t be. Are they actual comic strips that you can read while walking? So while you are standing on the corner people are staring just above your head and laughing?
Did you have a trail of people behind you trying to read your umbrella?
Remember, people: this is Hagar The Horrible and Family Circus. No one is trying to read it, and if they are, they're not laughing.
Lisa, I would have loved to include a picture. Oh, to have a camera phone! I'll post one when I get home tonight. But yeah, it looks exacly like the Sunday comics enlarged and put on an umbrella.
Ha ha, DORK!!
So does the Family Circus feature Jeffy saying somethin' funny 'bout rain? That Jeffy say's the darndest things...
Also, too bad your umbrella doesn't have Apartment 3-G. Otherwise it would rule. If it had Snuffy Smith, it would *mega* rule!
By popular (1 comment, 1 email) demand, I've put up a picture of the umbrella. You can click on the picture and get a huge version so that you can read the partial Family Circuses (you're welcome, Christian).
And may I point out that the number of tropical storms that this umbrella can survive is slightly less than one (1).
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