Record reviews: a play in two acts

ACT I: Joanna Newsom: Ys
Setting: a small recording studio in late 2005.

Cast of characters:
Joanna Newsom: odd-voiced indie harpy...er, harpist
Van Dyke Parks: old songwriter, producer, string arranger. Legendary for working with the Beach Boys.

Van Dyke Parks: Hey, Joanna. Sorry I'm late. Listen, I don't think I'm going to have time to do the strings for your album, so I just put found some old random recordings of strings parts I had lying around if you want. The strings won't bear any resemblance to the songs, but at least we can say we worked together.

Joanna Newsom: All is forgiven. You see, I've hidden all the hooks of my songs in tiny hedgehog holes, and to listen, you must become a child of whispering willows, sifting through creased crinoline curtains to discover the cranberry treats that might be invisible. The strings will make the treats even tastier to find!

Van Dyke Parks: Uh...

ACT II: The Decemberists, The Crane Wife
Setting: a used CD store somewhere in Portland, Oregon in late 2005.

Cast of characters:
Colin Meloy: bespectacled indie hipster
Record store clerk: a record store clerk

Colin Meloy: How much will you give me for these CDs?

Record store clerk: What do you have? Popular Sea Shantys: Volumes 1-56? A dollar.

Colin Meloy: Hm. What if I also threw in the entire Morrissey catalog?

Record store clerk: Twenty dollars.

Colin Meloy: Great! I'll trade them for a couple '70's Yes albums, Metallica's And Justice For All and this Talking Heads compilation.

Record store clerk: Holy crap! Is this what your next album will sound like?!

(pause)

Colin Meloy: Maybe.

(pause)

Colin Meloy grabs the CDs and runs from the store hollering.

Colin Meloy: Oh! Great valor! Oh taste of victory!

END.