Brains!! The Update
Since a few people have asked about my follow-up appointment to the neurologist yesterday, I figured I'd put it up here for those interested. If you're one of those people who is not concerned for my safety and well-being, then maybe you should stop reading here. Also, you should fuck off. Oh, I'm kidding (while not kidding).
So it turns out that my self-analysis was right: I'm getting super powers! So far, I only have heat vision (which means I'll have to get my prescription changed, but it's worth it) and shooting fire balls from my fingertips. They also found traces of mind-reading and super-human strength, but those won't be fully formed until the end of the year.
Actually, it only turns out that my self-analysis was right: there's nothing wrong with me. They found a couple of irregularities in my brain, but that seems to be the extent of the understanding. So I get to stop taking the evil drugs I've been on for the last three weeks (yay!) and have to start taking a different kind of drug that supposedly doesn't have the side effect of the other (which was turning me into an 80-year-old). But we'll see about that.
In a month, I have to have another brain scan to see if the irregularities are gone (note to hospital: say what you want, but my brain will always be irregular*). It's the nasty test where they put slimy little nodules all over my head, and part of the test seems to be if I can navigate the maze of phone numbers necessary to actually make the appointment. And here's the kicker: the night before the test, I can't sleep. Not at all. That may require some live blogging.
Honestly, I've really been touched by people's concern on this. On the scale of things that could go medically wrong, this ranks pretty low, but it's meant a lot to me that a lot of you folks have checked in and asked me how I'm doing. It's so small, but: Thanks. And again, to those of you who aren't concerned, I really can't stress this enough: please, at some point in the next few days, take just a few minutes out of your busy schedules and go fuck yourselves.
* had to be said
9 comments:
It would be cool if you could somehow blog your brain scan. Or at least save it to your iPod. Then you could take it home and set it to music.
On the night you're not allowed to sleep, will they let you go out bar-hopping? I think a bunch of us should take you out on the town to make sure you stay awake.
Anyway, it sounds like this was basically good news (even if they can't explain the fall), which I'm glad to hear. Let me know how the super powers are coming along. I'd like to have you over during the next big snowstorm so you can take a look at my street.
Your super-power is that you can't sleep!? Oh...mis-read that. Man, think of how much more you could get done.
I made you a CD to get you through your pain and suffering, but lord knows when I'm going to actually hie myself to a post-office...
Reid, can those of us who care still go fuck ourselves? I don't think it's fair for our sympathy to keep us from something like that.
No sleep at all? Won't that make your brain (even more) irregular? Isn't sleep required to keep people from going crazy?
Do you get to see the little color brain scans? I've always wanted to see those, the ones that light up depending on what you’re thinking. Grapefruit? Here. Grandma's scrabble games. Here and here.
Scott, I'm not a doctor, but I'm guessing that they probably don't want me to show up for the brain scan drunk. Just a guess. Besides, bars close at 2:00, so I'm still kind of stuck.
Fats, I wish. Sleep feels good and all, but I wish I could go without.
Hans, I'm afraid not. Official rules are that you have to actively not care or outright dislike me. My hands are tied on this one. But I have every confidence that you'll come across plenty of people offering you the chance to go fuck yourself.
Lisa, I think it would probably be depressing to see that scan. It would just be half Simpsons quotes and half useless music trivia. "Where do you put the information that allows you to walk straight and speak intelligibly?" they would ask me at the hospital. Well, exactly. There's the problem.
Great news! Glad to hear that it was probably nothing serious. Hopefully the new meds are better at least.
Glad to hear you don't have tumors or something. I watch way too many medical tv shows, I think.
What are the drugs for if there's nothing wrong? Just curious.
Jen, that is an excellent question. If I was writing the prescription myself, the answer to that question would be "Tropical Fruit Mike and Ike's, taken three times a day."
But what they have me on now (and, worse case scenario, forever) is an anti-seizure medicine, for precautionary reasons.
After my brain scan, my doctor looked at me and said "OK, we've confirmed that you have a brain." It's good to know that your doctors are a bit more supportive. Oh, and keep me posted on the superpower thing- I've been having "unexplained syncope" for about 20 years now and I still can't shoot fire from my fingertips.
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