We apologize, but...

Today's finished post is being pulled at the last minute on account of several attacks of mild heartbreak making it too personal for general viewing. Interested parties may request a transcript by email.

In the meantime, please enjoy the following quality programming:

Are You Smarter Than An Absurdist? (TV-14): Contestants gather in front of a studio audience of lazy chickens sitting on Ayn Rand books open to page 87 to match wits with French absurdists from the 20th Century. Trivia questions include "Why?", "How?" and "God?", leading to the final round called "Suicide, A Leap of Faith, or Acceptance". The first contestant whose head explodes wins. Hosted by you.