What a (k)nut!
As a reader of this page (which I know you are because you're reading this page. Simple logic), you've probably by now come to the conclusion that I'm the funniest person on the face of the planet. Ahhhh, I'm flattered, but it's not true. No, there are much funnier people than me, and almost all of them are good friends of mine.
As proof, I offer you this email exchange from yesterday, which not only shows you how hilarious my friends are, but also gets me off the hook for writing something myself and/or fixating on how Pam's speech in The Office last night was unsettlingly similar to words I said just a short time ago.
From: AlexAll email reprinted without permission.
Date: May 10, 2007
Subject: Ich ein un Knut-lover
Seriously, how can something this cute be in Germany? If the krauts had this during WWII, we'd all be seig-heiling and listening to David Hasselhoff albums.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBQRfKeIYZc
From: Hans
Date: May 10, 2007
Subject: Re: Ich ein un Knut-lover
Well it's worth pointing out at least that this paragon of German cuteness will grow up to be one of the most ferocious animals on Earth.
From: Alex
Date: May 10, 2007
Subject: Re: Ich ein un Knut-lover
A) I would like to point out that Knut is not a paragon of German cuteness, it is a paragon of polar cuteness that was seized by the Germans, probably in some sort of surprise raid in the dead of night;
2) If we make it smoke cigarettes and drink coffee now, it's growth will be stunted and it will remain this cute forever. That's what happened to Herve Villachez (except for the cute part);
III) Did you see it nursing? Holy shit. I just can't fucking stand it. That little predator is unbearably cute; and
iv) Scarlett Johanson described herself as a "sweet little slice of cherry pie." How conceited! I think that she needs to not believe her own press. I'm just saying.
I just can't stand how cute this fucking bear cub is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaWWBTRSc3s
