Send out a batallion
There's some big decisions to be made in my life, which means the usual heated—often violent—arguments between Logical Reid (LR) and Emotional Reid (ER).
ER has worries. He wants to escape and he sees a clear way out. The problem is that there is—as always—a sacrifice to be made and LR is not willing to make it.
"We have a possible path to prosperity!", LR says with unnecessary alliteration. "Why should we give up that path just because you can't suck it up and recognize the hurt and difficulty as an unfortunate part of life?! We could make a good move here, and I'm not going to let your heart get in the way of that."
"You've been there, too, though" ER counters, surprisingly calmly. "You've seen what it's like, how miserable it can be. And you know that not only can we kill the problem in one swift stroke, but it's still a decent move. Maybe not as good a move, but still a good one."
And on and on.
But they agree on one thing: they're both filled with fear of the person who knows the best decision: Future Reid. And the problem is, Future Reid is a real jerk. Whichever one of them is wrong is not only going to get raked over the coals for the boneheaded decision they made, but Future Reid will never...let...him...forget about it. It is this fear that keeps both LR and ER up at nights, endlessly arguing over the correct path.
But then Future Reid says, "You know what, guys? One of you is going to catch hell from me sometime soon, but let's forget about it tonight and just listen to Fionn Regan's 'Put A Penny In The Slot' one more time." And, for a little while, they're all pretty happy.
3 comments:
There's no such thing as unnecessary alliteration.
Sweet! Hear that world?! A scholar announced an alliteration free-for-all! Allelujiah! Alliteration all around!
Reid, I love it! Your writing is intelligent, engaging, and witty as all hell. I'm adding you to my collection of bloggers.
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