Songs on trial: "Do They Know It's Christmas?"

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the prosecution has characterized my client, the 1984 Ethiopia famine benefit song, "Do They Know It's Christmas?" as ridiculous, geographically and culturally ignorant, and patronizing; a song whose only lasting value is as a guilty pleasure.

Ladies and gentlemen, the prosecution is absolutely right.

(gasps from the court crowd)

Yes, it's true! Most Africans don't know it's Christmas, because they're Muslim and they don't celebrate Christmas! There is snow in parts of Africa, things do grow there, and not only do rivers flow there, it's home to some of the biggest, most spectacular rivers and waterfalls in the world!

And yet, it doesn't matter.

No, it doesn't matter! Because this song is not for Africans...it's for the English. However much of a guilty pleasure it continues to be, however antiquated and Anglo-centric it contiunes to reveal itself, we must remember what it was at it's core: a plea to the people of the wealthy nations of the world to help out those less fortunate than they are.

We forget that even people in rich countries have cultural touchstones that may be too-deeply entrenched, but yet are there and undeniable. And in England, the spirit of Christmas--that blind feeling that you're supposed to be happy and giving in December--still holds strong, even more so that in the States. And so the idea of letting Africans "know it's Christmas" is not the point. "Let them know it's Christmastime" means only, "In the spirit of Christmas...give to those less fortunate." The selfish line that Bono must now cringe at--"Tonight thank God it's them instead of you"--is little more than the common sentiment of "You could have it so much worse, so help those that do."

And the cultural and geographical offenses? Nothing more than setting a scene that the listeners can relate to: snow, rain, flowing rivers. Is it a crime to make an inaccurate cultural reference to help a worthy charity?

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, consider these things when coming to your decision. "Do They Know It's Christmas" is a song with a specific audience; an audience that needs to be moved by things that are familiar to them to help people and places that aren't. It may strike us as slightly offensive, but sometimes, in the name of help and humanity, that's an unfortunate side effect of needing to appeal to the people who can give that help.

The defense rests, your honor.