Let's get retarded

After last week's profitable idiocy, I let my guard down and had a weekend full of record-setting levels of stupidity. An innocent scarf and credit card were tragic victims of this recent moronic maelstrom.

The list below is of proposed reasons of why I'm such an idiot lately. To try and get to the bottom of this, I've created a poll on the right for you to help me figure out why this is happening. Please let your voice be heard. Won't you please help stop this epidemic of Thick Skullness?

The Chartitable Reason: I've been working a lot lately, and the work-related information is muscling out space in the extremely limited real estate of my brain--space that's normally used for the information that keeps me barely over the line of "functioning human being".

The Sporting Reason: Me watch lot of sports lately. Football and bassetball. Lots of commercials in football and bassetball. Lots of sports in sports. Brain stop working. Where beer?

The Conspiracy Reason: The colder weather is not, in fact, natural. Global warming has actually raised the average November temperature to around 95 degrees, but the US Government, in an effort to cover up global warming, has created an artificial coldness—much like the titular mist in the Stephen King's The Mist, in theaters now!—to create the illusion that nothing is wrong. This artificial coldness has the side effect of dumnening up those of us who are already prone to dumbening, which is another benefit to the US Government because...um...er...dammit!

The Obvious Reason: Alcohol is a known cause of idiocy. This has been known for centuries by pretty much everyone. However, this is the first thing that is forgotten under the influence of alcohol. The feedback that this logical loop creates is deafening.

The Likely Reason: I've been an idiot lately because I am, in fact, an idiot.

This hot topic is also open for lively debate in the comments.