File under "More Than I Wanted To Know"

On my Saturday trip to the CVS, I got all metrosexual and bought some facial scrub. It's just time to lavish a little attention on my skin, I figured. It's been pretty much ignored all my life. Plus, the TV keeps telling me to, and I can only ignore it for so long. But I got that stuff in the shower, put it on my face, and hot damn, does it ever feel good! It's like getting a grainy facial massage, which is a lot more appealing than it sounds. I'm hooked.

Damn those queer eyes for making my straight guy drug store costs triple.