Occupational errors

I actually felt kind of relieved this morning when I read this paragraph in the Post about the drama around Wassef Ali Hassoun:

Hassoun, who was born in Lebanon, initially was thought to have deserted his post. Pentagon officials classified him as captured after a videotape surfaced on an Islamic extremist Web site showing Hassoun with a large knife positioned over his head. At one point, there were reports that Hassoun had been beheaded, but an extremist group later said it released Hassoun with the promise that he would not rejoin U.S. forces to fight. Hassoun arrived at the U.S. Embassy in Lebanon days later.

You gotta admit that it was beginning to look pretty suspicious. A Muslim in the US Marines in Iraq gets kidnapped and then turns up fine and well in Lebanon.  But this story makes a lot of sense.  He either was kidnapped or was deserting to go back to Lebanon, got kidnapped and...
 
This is where I kind of start to laugh a little bit. I'm just imagining the embarrassed head-slapping that went on in the terrorist camp when they realized that they'd ended up with one of the few Muslims in the American military.
 
It's inspired me to write.  Following is an excerpt from my tasteless and entertainment-free play, Out of All The Americans: 

Terrorist lackey: Look everyone!  Got us an American!  He was just wandering down the road!
 
Terrorist leader: What's your name, American infidel pig?!
 
American: Wassef Ali Hassoun.
 
<awkward pause>
 
Terrorist leader: You IDIOT!  You got a Muslim!  We can't kill him now!  What's wrong with you?!  Christ, this is humiliating.  <to Hassoun> Listen, we couldn't be more embarrassed about this.  Could you do us a quick favor and just run through the whole blindfolded videotape thing for us?  Those Flaming Sword of Allah boys in the next town over have really been hounding us about being all talk and it really would help us out if you could just run through the lines so we can get them off our backs.  You'd be free to go after that.
 
Hassoun: Uh, okay. Hey, if you give me a ride to Lebanon, I can throw in a hollow promise about never serving in the US military again.

Terrorist leader: Would you? That'd be really sweet, thanks. After that, I'm sure we can find someone to behead.  <glares at Terrorist Lackey>
 
Terrorist Lackey: <looks at audience, gulps and pulls comically at collar>

Trust me, it only gets more zany from there.