Proof that soccer is either the most boring or must fun sport ever

For those of you who are truly bored at work today, I've collected some really entertaining quotes for the online game commentary of the AC Milan-Manchester United soccer (okay, okay..."football") match that Ivan pointed out to me. I love that they're not taking it too seriously and letting the commentator have some fun with it:

Rui Costa plays in a swinging low cross, but Crespo is beaten to the ball by Howard, who collects comfortably. He has started the game looking very assured, the United keeper. I wonder if the horrific gaffe he made against Porto last season is playing on his mind. It would if I were him. I'd be in a nervous sweat, talking in tongues by now.

Scholes slips as he is about to strike the ball, slicing it horribly out of play. The Italian fans jeer in morbid delight; Scholes trots away unconcerned.

31 mins Seedorf out-muscles Ronaldo, who crashes to the ground with an anguished cry; like that a cat emits when one (accidentally) steps on its tail.

Maldini berates his team-mates, and urges more concentration. He's a true legend, and has incredible cheekbones and superb hair. What a man.

What would you say if I told you there had been another goal at Stamford Bridge? You'd probably say: Commentator, you're pulling my leg. I'd say: No, I'm not.

The referee calls for a word with both, and defuses the situation with a stern gesture.

There has been a lot more spite and malice in the opening minutes of the second half that was evident in the first. Something in the half-time water, perhaps.

Giggs is taken off the field after an elbow strikes him in the face during a strong challenge from Gattuso. Blood streams from the Welshman's nose, and he looks a little bothered by the fact.

Gattuso, a sterdy, rough-and-ready young man sporting a beard that makes him look like a sardine fisherman, fires in a low shot which is deflected wide for a corner by Van Nistelrooy.

Crespo goes down heavily in the area, to the disgust of the United players. Silvestre attempts to drag him to his feet, though Crespo plays dead. He isn't dead, however, as proved by the fact he gets to his feet moments later.

There's been another goal in the Ding-Dang-Do of a game at Chelsea: it's gone to the home team, who now lead 5-4 on aggregate. I'm sorry to tell you, readers: you picked the wrong game.

Scholes falls as he is about to shoot, 30 yards out. Rooney takes the set-piece, and blasts it yards and yards over the bar. He pulls a face that suggests he thought he should have done better; either that, or he's just remembered that he hasn't paid a parking fine.