The effect each statistic has on the world

As I've mentioned before (which goes without saying, since I don't mention anything here that hasn't been mentioned before), one of the most infuriating parts of my job is having to answer the questions that come through the "Contact Us" form on our website. Some of them are just difficult to figure out how to answer, some of them are flat-out bizarre (like the guy who wanted to know how much money we'd give him for information on the asteroid headed to earth), but the most annoying questions are the ones that it's nothing short of amazing that someone would actually think to ask. These are the ones that are almost depressing, in that they're a window to the world of people who not only have strange, sometimes upsetting questions, but actually go to the time and trouble to ask them, and then clearly expect them to be answered.

Of course, the environmental NGO that I work for gets nothing like the unanswerable questions that urban-legend website Snopes gets. Some of my favorites from the list:

• can you tell me how i would analyze the effect each statistic has on the world.
• I've heard that it is impossible to take a lightbulb out of your mouth once one puts it in, without either breaking the bulb or dislocating the jaw. Do you know if this is true? I'm counting on you - my husband is really curious, and I don't want to have to drive him to the hospital...
• I just read a blurb that pre-packaged foods can cause people to turn gay because of too much estrogen.
• They say that if a person has a pet cat and dies, if the person's body is not found fairly soon after death, the cat, having not been fed, will become ravenously hungry and eat the dead person's face off — JUST the face! Is this true? My cat often looks me in the face. I used to think he was just being friendly. Now I know he's just sizing me up, like a chef at a butcher shop, waiting for "the big day". Since hearing this rumor, every time my cat licks his chops it gives me the willies!

We are not alone...