Tiny typed cries for help
Comes a time in every man's life when he gets an important message, one that makes him hitch up his metaphorical overalls, look philosophically into the sky, and then get to work. That message is, "Memory low!"
Yes, dear readers, it's time for me to clear out my cell phones text messages and leave a lasting document of them once again. As always, it's a mish-mash of logistical planning, Fourth of July patriotism, crass non sequiters, sports references, a few quotes from films and stuffed animals, and one joke made in staggeringly poor taste. See if you can guess which one!
Sponsored by "(sic)"
- I heart married girls
- i am a hammerhead shark. i make no sound.
- They bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say: Let 'em crash.
- U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!!
- Yeah, rock out with yer cock out America!
- Popfest so fun. Lil hospital blew 'em away.
- hand in the cookie jar?
- well my hand is!
- what's the name of arizona's nfl team?
- wow, thanks.what's really weird is i'm watching them play the cubs right now and they're pretty good!
- are you going to that katrina and the waves concert in new orleans?
- Holy shit!
- Reading the Post right by your gate. I think? It's a small station.
- You make a damn fine CD. Phone works! Enjoy the suburb-b-que!
- Stop Playing With Your Self I Mean Phone
- He's on fire!
- 5 tds will do
- the crowd stayed on its feet even through electric co. then sat down for wild horses. i never liked this song.
- i'm all the way up top. i don't think my riot would have amounted to much.
- wow. they're playing miss sarajevo.
- if i could, you know i would.
- Ugh! Sorry to miss you, but no longer sorry I missed the show! Be a guitar god!! Muppet 'em!!
- on one can eat fifty eggs
My favorite? Easily #12. I can't for the life of me remember what it was in reference to, but I love that I just got a text message that said nothing but, "Holy shit!" Biggest question? Why was he sending me text messages during the U2 show? Was it that boring? Our analysis experts also believe that #23 is actually supposed to say "no one", but even if it was spelled out right, it still doesn't make any sense.
Tune in next time to Technological Steps Backwards for more pointless fun that doesn't even come close to answering the question, "Why?!"
4 comments:
My favorites are always the ones from my sister, which I save for years without deleting. Best ever: a tie between "if I could live on Boone's Farm, I so totally would" and "Would you rather administer blow jobs to all of the Oakridge Boys, or be double teamed by Grimace and Mayor McCheese?"
The Fifty Eggs thing is probably from Cool Hand Luke, yeah?
Good Lord, JB. That's hilarious. I'm especially impressed that your sister actually took the time to type out "administer" instead of using the more common and easier-to-type "give". She must have been blitzed, bored or both.
Megarita, that may be, but it still doesn't make any sense. Maybe the author of the text message will waive his anonymity and explain. But that's his choice.
#15 is quite amusing. One should stop playing with oneself--I mean phone. haha!
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