Friend, we want you to stay

You'd think that a guy who was uprooted and moved around plenty of times in his life would be a little better at goodbyes. But I'm terrible. They shake me up something fierce.

And so it went last night, with the tears and all, saying goodbye to my friend Weston, who's set for a year (at least) of excitement shuttling between a millionaire's homes in Christchurch, New Zealand and the Gold Coast of Australia, while doing software development that will likely make him a wealthy man in his own right. And deservedly so. I'm excited for him, but I'll miss him like crazy.

Anyone who's spent so much as 10 minutes with Weston knows that he's a memorable and wonderful guy. He has an amazingly sharp wit, enjoys almost everyone's company (but is picky about his close friends), has tastes that are both refined and broad, is impossibly smart (though also very self-deprecating), and he's a one-man definition of charm. He's recognizes intent over content, is a true appreciator of beauty, and has equal knowledge of symphonies and power tools. And he's been a great friend to me. He's constantly complimentary, has been there when I've been done wrong, shares my warped sense of humor and love for overly-repeated jokes, and has been a great appreciator of me, which I've sorely needed, especially lately. He's been a fantastic friend.

But he's not dead, of course. He's just moving, and while all of the things above are things I'll miss immensely (and having two blocks away from me), they can all continue over the phone, email and other technological conveniences.

What can't be done with technology are the meals.

See, not only does Weston have great taste in food and a love of eating out, but he's one of the very few people who will pick up the phone and just ask if I want to get lunch or dinner or a drink, and not as a plan, but as an immediate action. In this time (this city?) where plans so often need to be made weeks in advance, or usually involve the words "we should" and "sometime", having someone who was a constant possible companion was a great thing. Of course there were times when one of us would be busy, but it was so wonderful knowing that I could pick up the phone anytime, see what he was doing, and end up having a good meal with a good friend without so much as a "sometime" attached. My friendship with him in DC has given some great (and much needed) lessons that time with friends isn't something that needs as much planning as we often think, it's doesn't need to be as complex as we make it, and no matter how busy we are, it's always worth taking the time out.

Weston's departure portends a huge amount of canned soup and take-out burritos in my future. But I hope I can learn from his example and get over my hang ups of assuming that everyone else has plans, that no one wants to make plans on only an hour's notice.

Five years ago, Weston called me up when he was in DC on a business trip even though he barely knew me simply because he was in town and wanted to see me. But if it was me in his place, I would have talked myself out of it, thinking, "No, I barely know him" and, "Why would he take time out to see me?" Life just isn't as difficult as I so often make it out to be, and Weston's been a great example of how things should work. Damn, am I ever going to miss him.