And regrets...I've had a few
Is there anything else in the world that is as simultaneously repulsive and compelling as the Best/Worst Ever lists? This morning, the always-helpful Largehearted Boy linked to Blender's list of the 50 Worst Songs Ever...and I clicked on it. It's not that I couldn't easily predict what was going to be on it, and it's not like this hasn't been done approximately 4 infinity times before, but...I couldn't resist.
And there they all were, the same songs that have been on every other list: "What's Up" (should be number 1), "Party All The Time", "Hangin' Tough". These are the songs whose goal was to be good. They're trying to get to climb to a spot that they're clearly not qualified to be in. Through marketing and/or good timing, they managed to chime nicely in enough ears to make them big hits, but once the thrill of liking the same songs as your friends is gone, it's hard to look past their faults.
It also goes a long way to showing that what makes "good" and "bad" music is intention. The truly bad songs on that list (or off it) intended to be classic pop songs or protest songs or party songs. But while I can understand why songs like "I'm Too Sexy" and "Barbie Girl" are in that list, I think that putting them in a Worst Of list kind of misses the point that songs like that are silly dancefloor numbers. Take them out of a party space, and of *course* they're terrible.
I think intention is why I wouldn't put "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da" in the list. The write-up in Blender actually nails why I like this song: "sounds less like reggae than the desperately chirpy songs Cockneys used to sing to keep their spirits up while the Luftwaffe rained death on them during the Blitz." It didn't occur to me for years that there was any ska in there, or that it was ever something that was supposed to sound like anything but a British sing-along.
I know that some people might object to "Shiny Happy People" being in there, but I think it's that songs overwhelming desperation to be a brainless pop song that is a unique kind of pretention. They're trying to be dumb, and we can see right through it. Deserves to be on the list.
But to for my past musical sins, I should admit that the reason that I clicked on the link for the list of the 50 worst songs is because I knew that one of my most shameful old favorites would be in there, and I wanted to see for sure. Just this morning, as I was looking through my CDs, trying to figure out which CDs should be ripped and then sold (or given away), I happened to pick the Spin Doctors' Pocket Full of Kryptonite. And there was "Two Princes", taking its usual place in history as one of the worst songs ever.
While I'm pretty embarassed about how much I loved the Spin Doctors at the time, and while I do wonder what the hell I was thinking, there's also something to it that's a testament to great pop music, and something that could really be said about all the songs on this list: even songs that are stupid and can be picked at up one side and down the other can connect really strongly for just a little while and for whatever reason, and even if you regret it later, it's still a part of your life. Which is exactly what the Spin Doctors are for me. And yes, I'm blushing as I write this.
I still think that Blender's list is pretty pointless, but the writing is actually really funny. Worth looking at today if you're looking to kill a little time, and if you're reading this post, you're looking to kill a little time.
3 comments:
Come on. I can think of much worse songs than at least half of those they've listed. (No way the Doors or Simon & Garfunkel songs should be on there either.) A lot of those songs are just "meh." What's worse are the way, way overly pretentious reviews they've written. What a bunch of asshats. Although the one for Ebony and Ivory is pretty funny, I will admit.
Woah. I'd hate to see Scott's list of worst songs ever! That is one pile of dreck! The only quibble I have with that entire list is the Beatles. But I can see why it's on there. And the author makes a good point about the band pretty much hating each other by that point. There's a passage in the Emerick book about the tedium of recording that song. Apparently Macca put everyone through hell with that one, recording version after version of it, experimenting with the tempo and rhythm...until finally one day, a very stoned and fed up Lennon plunked down at the piano, and said words to the effect of "I am more stoned than any of you ever will be and the song *will* go like this..." Those first piano chords you hear are just that! P.S. I kinda like "Illegal Alien", as offensive as it certainly is!
I can see the point about the Doors and Simon and Garfunkel. They're both pretty pretentious, but I mostly think that they (and the Beatles and REM) are there as a way to show that they're not afraid to pick at the big names. Almost all these lists do it. If they only write about the less-known one-hit-wonders, people tend to dismiss the list. So they throw in some supposedly unassailable bands just to rile people up.
I gotta go with Christian for the most part, Scott: what else would you put on there? Have you heard "Party All The Time" recently? That is one horrible song.
One glaring omission is "Rock Me Amadeus". That's one of those songs that makes me wonder how the hell it was ever such a big hit.
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