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Monday, June 26, 2006

Another exciting chapter in the life of the Random Rambler, superhero

Saturday night found Our Hero out to dinner with some folks, including one person that he'd just met, who was from the west coast and recently moved east. Our Hero couldn't resist asking her what she thought of the East Coast lifestyle, assuming that she'd go on a Western-style tirade about how "uptight" everyone is. Her answer may at first meet all expectations, but then suddenly throw them all out of the window with one stunning plot twist that no one saw coming...

"It's a lot faster-paced here. And people aren't as nice as they are in the West, but I like it better that way."

<record needle screeches and conversation stops, stunned>

Um, really?

"Yeah, it's good that people are nice, but it takes so long to get everything done. Everyone's got to stop and have a long conversation about anything, and there's plenty of times when it's nice that people are so polite, but you don't want to stop and talk about life, the world, and everything. It's more efficient here." ¹

Our Hero pondered this when in line at Teaism on Sunday morning when he almost fell asleep waiting behind the people in line who were having a fine and very pleasant conversation with the cashier, but none of them seemed to care that their chatting was keeping the rest of the people in line from getting a chance to order their food.

Sociable, friendly people are great, thought Our Hero, but so are efficiency and recognizing that there are other people in the world, and that just because someone is friendly doesn't mean it always has a good effect on everyone else. So which is better...people who are friendly but hold up everything around them, or people who are all business and no chat but keep everything moving along?

Our Hero had plenty of time to think about it, because the people at the counter were taking for fucking ever, and he seemed to have his answer.

When he finally got to the counter, Our Hero boldly and valiantly ordered a veggie burger, because that's what Our Hero was in the mood for.

Tune in next time when Our Hero ponders doing something heroic for a change, only to reconsider and watch more Simpsons reruns instead.

¹ All paraphrased. I'm sure you understand.

11 comments:

Hans said...

The only thing surprising about what she said is that she's a West Coast native saying it. There are millions of people, me among them, who much prefer the not-as-nice East Coast way of doing things. That's part of what keeps things the way they are on the right side of the country.

That said, I now live in Asheville, a locale that would be much better placed on the Left Coast. Drives me crazy sometimes, but the part of it that's kind of relaxing actually ends up being pretty nice.

Reid said...

Exactly. It's the kind of thing that makes the Libra in me crazy. Why does it always have to be one way or the other? Why can't people be nice AND figure out when they need to stay on the ball? Why can't you be relaxed and efficient?

It was exactly because she's from the West Coast that I was so surprised. I'm used to getting a lecture on all the crazy uptight Easterners, and I can't help but think how much I prefer it.

doug said...

"Why can't people be nice AND figure out when they need to stay on the ball? Why can't you be relaxed and efficient?"

I think those might be called "southerners".

Hans said...

There's nothing about the relaxed attitude in Asheville that I'd call "efficient". Or Atlanta either, for that matter (but then, Atlanta's not even relaxed; it's just generally unpleasant).

doug said...

Yeah, maybe "efficient" isn't the right characteristic to generalize southerners with (unless you are referring to incredibly fast and unchecked growth) - I was alluding more to a southern attitude of being overly (too?) polite, but obviously ready for you to get you on your way so as not to waste their time. I've run into that a number of times.

When I lived in Wyoming, the super-relaxed attitude was nice, but it was really hard to get people to commit to or honor the plans you made. Really annoying. You bet.

Anonymous said...

After pondering this for about 1.5 seconds, I would cast my vote for the all business/no chat East Coast way of doing things. No surprise there. Keep in mind that there is a difference between efficient and downright rude, of course. Maybe I'm in a jerk, but I don't really care what the man behind the counter at CVS thinks of the weather we've been having lately. I just want to buy more toilet paper and go home, you know?

Anonymous said...

Ok, that sounded really gross. Toilet paper is something you'd buy at a place like CVS. It's the first thing I thought of. This is some sick and twisted thing I promise. So...crazy weather we've been having lately, huh? ;)

Anonymous said...

Holy cow I"m an idiot! *Isn't* some sick and twisted thing I meant to say! And why was I anonymous?

Reid said...

You were anonymous because you were afraid to admit that you use toilet paper. But it's okay, Christian. You're among friends. Well, except Doug. He HATES you. The rest of us are supportive of your toilet paper use.

(I would just like to add that if there was a contest for Word Verification That Most Resembles The Sound Of A Gut-Twisting Puke, I would win it easily with this one: huehuapf)

Anonymous said...

I much prefer the "right" coast way...politeness/friendliness is fine when you're having dinner/drinks with someone, but it's overkill when you need to get stuff done. I don't want or need the cashier to start a discussion about my purchases (another reason why I prefer the self checkout lanes). I want them concentrating on doing their job so I'm not standing in line any longer than I need to be.

Also unlike westerners, I much prefer it when Xtian uses toilet paper.

doug said...

I can't believe you use fucking toilet paper! Are U CRAZIE?!

I actually just prefer mime with folks - it's fast, efficient, and less strain on the vocal chords. That's why I use the "mime only" checkout lanes at the grocery store.