Things I wish I hadn't scene

There are people out there who do nothing but program DVD menus. That's what they do when they walk through their workplace doors in the morning. And I think we know that the vast majority of them do a really bad job. Well, they're doing a bad job unless they and their bosses have a sick sense of humor and enjoy all of us going through 18 screens of options just to start the &%*$! movie.

But what makes cartoon steam shoot from my ears is the spoilers. Does it not occur to these programmers that maybe, when I sit down to watch my Netflixed DVD of the second season of The Sopranos that I might not want to see the key scenes before I can even start the episode? Do they really want me to blur my vision so that I don't see a complete written synopsis of the episode before I can even get the cursor to "Play"? Chalk this up to another set of self-defense mechanisms that jade me before my time.

It's a cold, harsh world out there, readers. And I'm here to walk you through it.