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Saturday, February 03, 2007

Being older has not made me more concise

This post would have started with "last night", but to paraphrase Gloria Estefan, the work gets in the way, so it will start with "earlier this week".

Earlier this week, Christian, Nicole and I had dinner with Steve, an old college friend of Christian's and mine. He's a family man now, with a baby, and we haven't seen each other in a while and we're all in our 30's, so inevitably, the conversation turns to what's changed with age. At one point, Steve made the following observation (paraphrased, since I don't tape record my dinner conversations, unlike you):

You know how you used to think MTV was the really cool and VH1 was for old people, but now, we love VH1 and think MTV is really stupid! It's true! Admit it!
I didn't admit it, partly because I watch as much VH1 now as I did when I was in high school, which is slightly more than none. And I think those "Best Week Ever" shows are about as dumb as anything on MTV, which is a little more than a lot.

But I think that the main reason that I busted up our nice dinner to disagree is that I haven't found those sorts of changes in the aging of me (or most of the people I know). Sure, there have been plenty of surprises, like just how much I do care that I'm losing my hair, or that seeing the lines in my cheeks growing deeper and longer does bother me more than I thought it would, or just how odd it is to think of my aging.

What I don't accept is that growing older somehow means letting go of things that are considering "young" in favor of things that are "old". Most of my changes of emotion and opinion are simply a matter of living more. I could have the same body and hair and ability to eat a large pizza without gaining weight that I had when I was 18, but the simple act of seeing more and learning more is going to bring about changes. I don't listen to more jazz and Pet Sounds and quiet guitar music like Sufjan Stevens and read non-fiction because I'm old and I need quiet music that rescues me from that loud rock 'n' roll and rap that the kids listen to; I listen to it because I learned to like it and because after a while, regardless of the changes to your body, you're going to look for changes and challenges.

Maybe what I'm saying is not far off from what Steve is saying. And maybe this is all a product of being nerdy and quiet for even my teen and college years. I just always get a little rankled by suggestions that our age forces us to stop making new choices and to continue to see the world in "old people like this, young people like this" black and white.

To me, the glory of age is getting a greater sense of sincerity. I like what I've always liked: exactly what I like, and now I'm more sure and aware of what I like. If I could talk with my 50-year-old self and find that he loves new age music and just wants to watch TV murder mysteries, I won't think that he's a doddering, lame old man; I'll ask him why he likes that crap. Because I know he'll have a damn good reason.

And for the record: I got more annoyed with teenagers when I was one than I do now. Now I just feel kind of sorry for them.

3 comments:

akaijen said...

B- and I were just discussing this last night, mainly because with my peterpan complex I've been labeled by the BBC as a 'big child.' We live on the knife-edge, Reid. If we don't get lame and stuffy and complain about the corns on our feet, then we're refusing to grow up. Eff that! Just because I'm capable of taking on more responsibility at work doesn't mean that I can't also stalk the local toy store for a Wii.

On the other hand, I do know people who've properly grown up and probably really don't get MTV anymore. Me, I'll watch Pimp my Ride any time. I remember quite vividly the shitheap I used to drive in high school. I'd have given anything for MTV to pimp my 1977 Toyotal Corolla stationwagon.

Hans said...

When we thought MTV was really cool, it was really cool. If it still showed music videos, I probably wouldn't watch it much, because who has time for that, but I'd definitely still "get it" and think it was really cool. But a long time ago I started thinking they should change their name from MTV to SGSTV (Stupid Game Show Television). I've changed as I've gotten older, but I'm still myself. MTV is not what it was, it is something wholly other.

akaijen said...

By the way, NPR is the new MTV.