Weekend FAQ

What is the closest thing to heaven on earth?
Sitting with some top-quality friends, buzzing on a unending flow of cheap Mimosas, eating a sausage, cheese, tomato and egg on French toast sandwich, laughing yourself to tears...all on the roof of the Reef on a day that couldn't be any more gorgeous.

Fallen off the wagon?
Seems that way. I'm back to a more-than-two daily schedule, though I haven't gone past four, which is as it should be.

Why in God's name did you get on the Metro at Gallery Place just to get off at Judiciary Square?
It was a mistake. An honest, bone-headed mistake. On the plus side, I did find out that you can actually see the Gallery Place Metro entrance from the Judiciary Square Metro entrance. Needless to say, I felt like kind of an idiot.

What's up with the black plastic shades?
I know, I know. But years ago, I saw a picture of the Velvet Underground and Lou Reed and John Cale had sunglasses like that and I knew I had to have some too. But you're right: it's time for some new ones.

The Green Building exhibit at the Building Museum was kind of disappointing, huh?
Yeah, it really was. The information on exactly how the buildings were environmentally friendly was actually kind of difficult to find. It came across more as an architect's resume than an informative demonstration on how to improve on enviro-minded building design. I know others who feel this same way, which, of course, proves me right.

Was that you having breakfast with a pretty girl at the Diner Saturday morning? Early Saturday morning?
Yes. I would say more, but I prefer you to continue thinking what you're thinking.

Did you ever tell Susan your theory on Imus?
Oh! No, I didn't, but thanks for reminding me. It goes something like this: Imus got called out for something that a lot of other people seemingly get away with because what he said was lame. If it had actually carried any political, persuasive or humorous weight, no one would have really cared. But talking about the Rutgers women's basketball team like that? It's pointless, stupid and not at all funny. And that's why he got fired.

So what makes you think anyone would ask you these questions at all, let alone frequently?
They were clearly implied.

You do realize that doing a fake FAQ and putting in a bit about how they're not really frequently asked is kind of tired, right?
Well, yeah, but you're the one asking the questions.

Am I?
Sort of. I think. I'm not sure.

This is getting kind of confusing, isn't it?
It is, kind of. Yeah.

Do you think we should just abandon this here?
I think that'd be for the best.