See what's become of me

Hey, Are Seven readers! What do you want to hear about today? What? Are you serious?! NO! There's no time for that, dammit! That either! And definitely not that. We'd have to take a trip to the drug store for that one.

No, we just don't have time for anything that takes time today. The following is a convenient list of things that take time, and we therefore do not have any time for:

1. Everything.

So you can see the bind we're all in. I hate to have to give you this news like this, and I wish it could be face-to-face, but there's just no time. None. No time to be had. If you took all the time in the world, and then removed it, that's how much time there is. I hope you're beginning to see just exactly how much time there is. There is exactly none.

Point being: I can't write a post because of the tremendous lack of time. If time was food, we'd all be starving. If time was water, we'd be extremely thirsty. If time was music, we'd all...um...be deaf? No, that's not it. We'd all be...whistling Dixie. Or something.

Anyway...no time, so there won't be a post today. You'll have to fend for yourselves, which scares me, because the last time I let you fend for yourselves, three of you were mauled and more than a few of you resorted to cannibalism, which was a particular shame since there was a grocery store right next door.

So yeah...no time.