This hotel is not a home
Thoughts of the hotel just off Times Square that I stayed in last night:
There's a piece of paper that says "Welcome!" that was sealed up in a plastic bag along with some razors, cologne and other non-necessities. Why does a welcome have to be sealed? Why do I have to rescue it from its airless plastic prison before I can be welcomed? It's like: I would be welcome, but I have to take the initiative to be welcome. And like everything else in this room, I assume that if I so much as move it an inch, I'll be charged for it, which makes me feel even less welcome.
Strangely, the non-welcoming, bizarrely-assorted welcome bag includes a mini Harlequin romance novel in it. I can't see the cover, but the spine offers "Breathtaking Romantic Suspense: Try Some Today!" Hmmmm...nah.
When I got to the room, the beds were nicely made up, everything was clean...and the lampshades had been removed from all three lamps and lined up neatly on the couch. This is either part of their "every room comes with a complimentary poltergeist" service or it's for those people who like to engage in the old stereotype of the drunk who wears a lampshade on his head: for your convenience, the lampshades have been pre-removed.
Among the mini bottles of L'occitane products was a shampoo whose label wanted me to know that it's not just any shampoo: it's "shampooing shampoo". That they make this distinction makes me wonder if all of the other shampoos I've used in the past have really been doing what they implied they were doing. I suddenly feel cold and sad.
Someday, internet service in hotel rooms won't be an extra charge. But today is not that day. Is the internet still so new and rare that we have to pay for it? We get TV for free, we get the phone for free, and both of those things used to have charges in hotel rooms. Why does an invention have to be 30-40 years old before it's given standard? Come on. Let's pick up the pace, guest services.
Insomnia served me well, as the wake-up call I requested never came in.
7 comments:
Seems like the more the room costs, the more you have to pay for things that you'd normally get for free. I've stayed in a few shitty motels that had free wireless, but at the Westin San Diego they were charging around $10/day.
At least the cold, sad feeling is still free just about everywhere.
man! thanks for calling me last night. we had such a great time painting the town red! it's so great to hang out whenever you come to the big apple.
jerk.
Shampooing is the French word for shampoo. Considering that it's a French product, I think your shampoo is just bilingual.
I have no answer for the lampshades, though.
Hans, the cold, sad feeling actually showed up on my bill under "incidentals". $42!
Paul, I ask in all seriousness: would you be able to meet up if I couldn't meet up until about 11:00 pm? We got into town at about 3:30, went to a meeting, had a dinner meeting that lasted until 11:00 or so, and then had one more drink at the bar next door, then left first thing this morning. I really wanted to get together, but knew that it would be so late that it would be awfully hard.
Mr./Ms. Anonymous (or may I call you by your first name, Prefers To Remain?)...let me get this straight: "shampooing" is the French word for "shampoo"? That's thoroughly confusing.
Yup, "le shampooing." It's the only French word I know that has "ing" at the end. It's pronounced like you would expect.
In Holland, we have shampoo, but it's pronounced like sham-poe. Sounds awful.
actually, i was busy on monday night, so it wouldn't have worked out. which makes my 'jerk' comment egregious. so i retract...
In addition to the $5 Luna bars and $8 bottles of Amstel Light, my hotel in Scottsdale had the "intimacy kit" and bottled air among the honor bar items.
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