The good old days

In times when I'm short on time, I have to turn to the other sources of words in my life: news stories, other articles, strange art installations, graffiti. Today, I'll turn to my email, where there was a great thread among the team owners of the Max Fisher Players Fantasy Football League that began when talking about these "throwback" uniforms that the Philadelphia Eagles wore last weekend, and then became a thread about how, if they're going to go back to the uniforms they wore in the '30's, why not go back to those times completely?

All authors quoted without permission.

"How cool would it be if the throwbacks included leather helmets???" - Christian

"And really tiny pads too!" - Chris

"Move the goalposts to the middle of endzone." - Paul

"And don't throw a pass because...well, because they don't know what a "pass" is yet!" - Chris

"Also, there are no commercial breaks, the cheerleaders are covered from wrist to ankle, and the game ends when every single player is dead of a severe spinal injury. Good times." - Reid

"The announcers all wear striped jackets and straw hats. Also, they use megaphones. Only souvenirs available are full-length fur coats and pennants on sticks." - Paul

"All players must work delivering blocks of ice in the offseason." - Jason

Any other suggestions?