What was taking Saturday so goddamn long

It's a little old, and I'm sure a lot of you have already seen it, but this article from the Onion has become part of my Tuesday routine. If something can be both therapeutic and masochistic at the same time, reading this article is it.

The geostationary fruit at night are big and bright

Remember that time you went to Texas? Remember? You got in a cab and told the cabbie, "I need to go deep in the heart of Texas." And the cabbie took you to the edge of the heart and then stopped and told you "Fourteen dollars", which was total bullshit, because it's only one zone, but you told him, "No, no. Deeper." And the cabbie continued, but you could tell he was all cranky because he knew there was no way he was going to pick up a return fare once he dropped you off. But you didn't care.

Then, you finally got to the deepest part of the heart of Texas, and you stood there gazing up into the night, and you were so moved by the sight that you said, without thinking, "Wow. The stars at night are big and bright." And then some jerkoff appeared from out of nowhere and clapped four times, and you just rolled your eyes, because some jerkoff is always doing that.

But remember how you felt like there was something missing from the sky? You couldn't quite figure out what exactly was missing at first. You just knew that, as pretty as the night sky was, it was...incomplete somehow. And then you realized the missing piece. Of course!, you thought. There should be a gigantic banana floating in between the high atmosphere and Earth's low orbit, visible only to Texas residents!

You were right. It should have been there. And it will be there.

No time this time

Clearly, I've been short on time these days. The days have been filled with work and I've been busy at night being too exhausted to do anything but lie on the couch. The new meds are giving me a little more energy, but not quite enough. Yet.

So look out into that vast space of the net for your entertainment, because weekday posting is likely to be sparse these days. My first recommendation is my favorite new blog, The Comics Curmudgeon. I sometimes feel as though I really miss the newspaper's comics page, and this site does a lot in one fell swoop: gives you the comics you'd never really read unless you had the full page in front of you, and calling out the stupid ones for being stupid. It's brilliant.

Please direct your attention to someone else's work

Normally, when I see something in my ridiculously large list of blog subscriptions that I think you might be interested in, I just hit the "Share" button and assume that you'll see it at some point over there on the right and trust my taste. Which you should. It's all for you, Damiens.

But today? Today, I'm using up a whole post (and these things are expensive) to tell you to go to Deadspin and watch these videos. Yes, I realize that I'm just telling you to go watch some YouTubed video, which, since this is 2006, you've already been asked to do 200 times today already, and yes, you'll be laughing at people getting hurt, but...maybe it's just my hangover talking, but I haven't been this amazed by video in a while.

Which has just exploded

My head is too full of frustration to come up with anything on my own, so I'll just continue to do my best impression of Hans's blog by posting a link that he sent me in the email to this hilarious take of some 1996 websites. If I had been drinking Pepsi when I read his comments about the 1996 Pepsi site, it would have shot out my nose.

I love it when other people do my writing for me.