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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Advice column mode

Confidential to the person who's sending computerized voice messages to my work phone that say "The robot revolution is coming" and "Robots! Robots! Robots! Robots!":

While it's easy to see your own personal problems with your robot as indicative of a wider world problem, I think this is really just between you and your robot. If your robot is unhappy, there are things you can do to make it feel appreciated. Give it a good oiling before it even asks. Tighten it's nuts a little. But understand that just because you and your robot are having troubles doesn't mean that there's a robot revolution brewing. Many robots and their owners enjoy a very happy, trouble-free relationship, and owners getting murdered in their sleep when their oppressed robots rise up is really a very unusual occurrence that gets blown up by the media. So just relax, and think of that red glow in your robot's eyes as love, not vengeance.

2 comments:

d-lee said...

Maybe those messages are coming from someone who works for Old Glory Insurance Company. I hear they have an excellent robot insurance policy.

Hans said...

Sounds like a lot of robot brainwashing to me. Why are you defending them, Reid?